An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.
After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighbourhood with big, stately residences – no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS. Read the rest of this entry »
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They’re up in heaven, and God’s sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. “Al, what do you believe in?”
Al replied, “well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more Freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we’ll all die.” Read the rest of this entry »
This week The Chancellor of Exchequer will allow each one of us to get a tax rebate. If we spend that money at Tesco, most of the money will go to China , if we spend it on petrol it will all go to the Arabs, if we spend it on new computers all the money will go to India for tech support and none will help the British economy.
The way I see it, we need to keep that money here in United Kingdom, so the only way I can see to keep that money here at home is drink beer or spend it on prostitution, those are the only businesses still in the U.K.
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly check-up. When it was finished, she asked her gynecologist how everything was. He said he was pleased and that she was in great shape, and that she was pregnant. Read the rest of this entry »
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.” Read the rest of this entry »
George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates were called in by God to heaven one day.
“I am appalled at the way that humankind have degenerated and the world trashed since the days of Adam,” He thundered. “I have called you here because you represent the most powerful and important people on earth today. Here is the ultimatum: clean up the world in three days and form a better society, or I will destroy the world!” Read the rest of this entry »
I am definitely against giving cats the vote or letting them have driver’s licenses. Especially undocumented ones. And these days an election can be won by a whisker.
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer’s field. The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians. Read the rest of this entry »
Bill and Hillary Clinton, when they first reached the White House, set a new standard of the politically active spouse. Read the rest of this entry »
The United States Postal Service has created a stamp with a picture of President George W. Bush to honor his first term achievements. Read the rest of this entry »
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