What is a tragedy?

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.”

Adult Words

The kindergartners were now in first grade. Their teacher wanted them to be more grown up since they were no longer in kindergarten. She told them to use grown up words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer.

Jock Stress

The basketball coach stormed into the university President’s office and demanded a raise right then and there.

“Please,” protested the college President, “you already make more than the entire History department.”

“Yeah, maybe so, but you don’t know what I have to put up with,” the coach blustered. “Look, I’ll give you an example.”

Grading the Final Exam

Dept of Statistics: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.

College Photos

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity to each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted both to go to the same college but, the girl was accepted to a college on the East Coast, and the guy went to a college on the West Coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and to spend anytime they could together.

Dumb Jock

The huge college freshman figured he’d try out for the football team. “Can you tackle?” asked the coach.

Tough Teacher

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all.

Infinite Choices

The college faculty were in their annual meeting when, suddenly, an angel appears. Turning to the Dean, the creature said, “I will grant you one of three boons — infinite wisdom, infinite wealth or infinite health.”

Father of my Child

A man standing in line at a check-out counter of a grocery store was very surprised when an attractive woman behind him said, “Hello!”

Professor’s Brain

A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God’s existence. The professor presented the following logic:

Wrong Compliments

Two high-school buddies were attending the senior prom. “Suzy wants to go out to my car. She’s really hot,” one boy said. “I’m really nervous. I know I’ll goof up!”

“Take it easy,” his friend assured him. “All you gotta do is compliment her. Chicks love to be complemented. You’ll have her in the palm of your hand.”