Three Kicks Law

Jonnie Cochran was duck hunting in Montana recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot. A farmer suddenly pulled up in his pick-up truck, jumped out, and asked Mr. Cochran what he was doing on his property.

“Retrieving a duck that I just shot,” he replied.

“That duck is on my side of the fence, so now it’s mine,” replied the farmer.

Mr. Cochran asked the farmer if he recognized who he was talking to.

“No,” replied the farmer. “I don’t know, and I don’t care.”

“I am Jonnie Cochran, famous lawyer from Los Angeles,” came the reply. “I am the lawyer that got O. J. Simpson off. I’m the reason he is a free man today. And if you don’t let me get that duck, I can sue you for your farm, your truck, and everything else you own. I’ll leave you penniless on the street.”

“Well,” said the farmer, “In Montana the only law we go by is the ‘3 kicks law’.”

“Never heard of it,” said Jonnie.

The farmer said, “I get to kick you three times, and if you make it back to your feet and are able to kick me back three times, that duck is yours.”

Cochran thought this over. He grew up in a tough neighborhood and figured he could take this old farmer. “Fair enough,” he said. So the farmer kicked Jonnie violently in the groin. As he was doubling over, the farmer kicked him in the face, and when he hit the ground, he kicked him hard in the ribs. Several moments later, Jonnie slowly made it back to his feet.

“All right, now it’s my turn”, said Jonnie.

“Aw, forget it,” said the farmer. “You can have the duck.”


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