A lawyer dies and goes to heaven. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter. “Hello mate,” says St. Peter, “I’m sorry, no lawyers in heaven.”
“What?” exclaims the man, astonished.
“You heard, no lawyers.”
“But, but, but, I’ve been a good man,” splutters the lawyer.
“Oh really,” says St. Peter. “What good have you done, then?”
“Well,” said the guy, “Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 dollars to the starving children in Africa.”
“Oh,” says St.Peter. “anything else?”
“Well, two weeks before I died I also gave 10 dollars to the homeless.”
“Hmmm. Anything else?”
“Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 dollars to the Albanian orphans.”
“Okay,” said St. Peter. “You wait here a minute while I have a word with the boss.”
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, “I’ve had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here’s your thirty dollars back, now take a hike!”