How Do You Plead?

Guilty or not guilty – you be the judge.

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

DA: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, When a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

DA: Did you know him?

Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

DA: What happened after he sat down?

Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

DA: Did you stop him?

Lady: No, I didn’t stop him.

DA: Why not?

Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some thirty years ago.

DA: What happened next?

Lady: He began to rub my breasts.

DA: Did you stop him then?

Lady: No, I did not stop him.

DA: Why not?

Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!

DA: What happened next?

Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so ‘spicy’ that I just lay down and told him ‘Take me, young man. Take me now!’

DA: Did he take you?

Lady: No! He just yelled, ‘April Fool!’ And that’s when I shot him.

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