Why I Fired my Secretary

I woke up early feeling a little depressed, because it was my birthday and I thought, “another year older,” but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, “Happy Birthday, dear.”

All smiles I went into breakfast and there sat my wife reading the newspaper as usual. She didn’t say one word. So I got myself a cup of coffee and thought to myself, “oh well, she just forgot. The kids will be in a few minutes all cheers and they will sing Happy Birthday and have a nice gift for me.”

There I sat, enjoying my coffee and I waited. Finally the kids came running in yelling, “Give me a slice of toast. I’m late. And where is my coat? I’m going to miss the bus!” Feeling more depressed than ever, I left for the office.

When I walked into the office my secretary greeted me with a nice smile and a “Happy Birthday, Boss” and said, “I’ll get you some coffee.” Her remembering made me feel a lot better. Later in the morning my secretary knocked on my door and said since it’s your birthday, why don’t we have lunch together. Thinking it would make me feel better I said that’s a good idea.

So we locked up the office and since it was my birthday I said, “why don’t we drive out of town and have lunch in the country instead of going to the usual place.” So we drove out of town and went to a little out of the way place. We had a couple of martinis, a nice lunch, and started driving back to town when my secretary said, “Why don’t we go by my place and I will fix you another martini.”

It sounded like a good idea since we didn’t have anything to do in the office anyway. So we went to her apartment and she fixed us both a martini. After a while she said, “Will you excuse me, I think I will slip into something more comfortable,” and left the room. In six minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday cake. Following her were my wife and all my kids.

And there I sat, with nothing on but my socks.

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