Category Archives: From the Mouth of Babes

Self-Appraisal

A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in a number. Following is the conversation that the store owner listened to: Continue reading

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I Know the Whole Truth

At school Little Tommy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, ‘I know the whole truth.’ Little Tommy decided to go home and try it out. He went home, and as he was greeted by his mother he said, “I know the whole truth.”

His mother quickly handed him $20 and said, “Just don’t tell your father.” Continue reading

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Nude Beach

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.

The son comes running up to his mom and says, “Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!” Continue reading

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Wanted at the Zoo

When I was a kid I said to my Father one afternoon, “Will you take me to the zoo?”

He answered, “If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.”

Jerry Lewis

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The New Driver

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. Continue reading

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Yum Yum

Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?

Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals! Continue reading

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No Free Lunch

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. Continue reading

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Pray for the dying

As my five-year-old son and I were heading to McDonald’s one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for whoever might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, “We should pray.”

From the back seat I heard his earnest voice: “Dear God, please don’t let those cars block the entrance to McDonald’s.”

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Adult Words

The kindergartners were now in first grade. Their teacher wanted them to be more grown up since they were no longer in kindergarten. She told them to use grown up words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer. Continue reading

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Tonsils

A young boy of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmates that he’ll be gone for a while to have a surgery.

On the day he was admitted his mother asked the doctor if would please circumcise the boy, since he’s already going to be under anesthesia. The doctor complied. Continue reading

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