Tag Archives: cops

The Rookie

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. Continue reading

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The Parking Ticket

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day, Bev my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. Continue reading

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Prostitute Granny

Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn’t want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel, and Lulu was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, Lulu’s grandma came by and saw her granddaughter. Continue reading

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Death By …

Four friends are sentenced to death and are given four options to choose from. An electric chair, a firing squad, hanging and injection with HIV virus. Continue reading

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English Hospitality

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.

After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighbourhood with big, stately residences – no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS. Continue reading

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Doctor’s Orders

The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act.

The man decided, “What the hell, I’ll try it,”He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn’t do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Continue reading

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Deaf Drunk

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.

“So,” says the cop to the driver, “where have ya been?” Continue reading

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911 Calls – Breathing Problems

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn … I think I’m going to pass out. Continue reading

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911 Calls – Eleven Monkeys

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it. Continue reading

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911 Calls – Greedy Thief

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich. Continue reading

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