Tag Archives: marriage

The Atheist

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, “Anthony proposed to me an hour ago.”

“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.

“Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a Hell!”

Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”

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The Smell

A man and his wife were driving home one cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.

It was, and she said to her husband, “It’s nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?” Continue reading

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Cow from Illinois

The only cow in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow just across the state line in Illinois for $200.

They brought the cow from Illinois and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were very happy. Continue reading

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Quarrel Maturity

Have you ever noticed that retired couples have reached a level of maturity where they never have any of those piddling little quarrels that other people do?

They have one big argument that starts at seven in the morning and goes right through till bedtime.

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Mistaken Foreplay

A married couple is lying in bed one night. The wife is curled up, ready to go to sleep, and the husband turns his bed lamp on to read a book. As he’s reading, he periodically reaches over to his wife and fondles her special area. He does this a few times, but only for a very short interval before returning to read his book. The wife gradually becomes more and more aroused assuming that her husband is seeking some encouragement she gets up and starts stripping in front of him. Continue reading

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I Know the Whole Truth

At school Little Tommy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, ‘I know the whole truth.’ Little Tommy decided to go home and try it out. He went home, and as he was greeted by his mother he said, “I know the whole truth.”

His mother quickly handed him $20 and said, “Just don’t tell your father.” Continue reading

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Twenty Years

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

“What’s the matter, dear?”, she whispers as she steps into the room, “Why are you down here at this time of night?” Continue reading

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Nude Beach

Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.

The son comes running up to his mom and says, “Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!” Continue reading

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Watch and Wife

What is the difference between a watch and a wife?

When a watch malfunctions, it stops. Wife, when she malfunctions, boy it just starts.

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The Virginity Test

Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding. “I’m not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not,” said the groom-to-be.

His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that.” Continue reading

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