Tag Archives: pearly gates

Bill “Pearly” Gates

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They’re up in heaven, and God’s sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. “Al, what do you believe in?”

Al replied, “well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more Freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we’ll all die.” Continue reading

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End of Days

George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates were called in by God to heaven one day.

“I am appalled at the way that humankind have degenerated and the world trashed since the days of Adam,” He thundered. “I have called you here because you represent the most powerful and important people on earth today. Here is the ultimatum: clean up the world in three days and form a better society, or I will destroy the world!” Continue reading

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Legal Entrance to Heaven

A lawyer dies and goes to heaven. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter. “Hello mate,” says St. Peter, “I’m sorry, no lawyers in heaven.”

“What?” exclaims the man, astonished. Continue reading

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Difficult Question

There were these three nuns that were killed in a traffic accident, and immediately sent to the Pearly Gates. As St. Peter was looking over their files, he said, “You ladies have been very good, but before I can let you in, you have to answer a question.” So he asks the first nun, “What was the name of the first man that God created?” Continue reading

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Forget Heaven, Go to Hell

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She’s chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful blood curdling screams. Continue reading

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