Tag Archives: politics

The Good News on Iraq

Deep, deep inside 10 Downing Street…

PM: I’m sick to death of all the negativity around Iraq. It’s all bad, bad, bad. Never. Do we read any of the good news. I mean. We’ve got rid of an awful dictator. We made him put his weapons of destruction so far out of reach it was like they never existed.

Drone1: What are you saying, Tony?

PM: I’m saying that it’s time we put across the good news from Iraq. Let’s take the initiative for once. No more reacting to bad news defensively. Continue reading

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The Economic Stimulus Bill

This week The Chancellor of Exchequer will allow each one of us to get a tax rebate. If we spend that money at Tesco, most of the money will go to China , if we spend it on petrol it will all go to the Arabs, if we spend it on new computers all the money will go to India for tech support and none will help the British economy.

The way I see it, we need to keep that money here in United Kingdom, so the only way I can see to keep that money here at home is drink beer or spend it on prostitution, those are the only businesses still in the U.K.

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You Got me Pregnant!

Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly check-up. When it was finished, she asked her gynecologist how everything was. He said he was pleased and that she was in great shape, and that she was pregnant. Continue reading

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What is a tragedy?

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy.” Continue reading

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End of Days

George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates were called in by God to heaven one day.

“I am appalled at the way that humankind have degenerated and the world trashed since the days of Adam,” He thundered. “I have called you here because you represent the most powerful and important people on earth today. Here is the ultimatum: clean up the world in three days and form a better society, or I will destroy the world!” Continue reading

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Cat Vote

I am definitely against giving cats the vote or letting them have driver’s licenses. Especially undocumented ones. And these days an election can be won by a whisker.

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