Tag Archives: shopping

Sales Pitch

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to one of those big ‘everything under one roof’ stores looking for a job. The manager asked, “Do you have any sales experience?”

The kid said, “Sure, I was a salesman back home in Texas.” Continue reading

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Home Shopping

Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Ole says to Sven, “Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?” Continue reading

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Only One Kiss

Walking up to a department store’s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, “I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?”

“Only one kiss per yard, ” replied the smirking male clerk. Continue reading

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Half-a-Head

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter. Continue reading

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What Store Employees Really Mean

“Can I help you get a size?”
(Don’t touch that, I just spent an hour folding it and I don’t need your hands messing it up again.) Continue reading

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Repeat Act

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. She’s dressed in dirty jeans, a greasy t-shirt with holes in it and wearing flip-flops exposing her cracked and filthy toenails. When she yells at the kids, she exposes her yellowed, crooked teeth with more than a few missing. Continue reading

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Dog Food Diet

I have two dogs and I was buying a large bag of Pal (Dog Food) at Big W and standing inline at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Continue reading

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Buying Aspirins

Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in his left eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headache and asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Continue reading

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