Islamic Haiku

Where are my virgins,
Why is it so dark in here?
Allah, let me out!

Ten Commandments

A God came down and first he went to the Germans and said, “I have Commandments for you that will make your life better.”

And the Germans asked, “what are Commandments?”

Lama Change

The Dalai Lama walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, “Make me one with everything.”

The hot dog vendor nods and says, “That’ll be three bucks.”

The Dali Lama gives him a $5 bill, and gets a hot dog in exchange. Noticing that’s all he gets, he asks, “Where’s my change?”

The hot dog vendor replies, “Change only comes from within.”

Undercolors

Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church to a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounce three sequential colors.

One day, they heard, “yellow, blue, black.”

Fish Smell

Eons ago, there lived a young girl named Eve. One day, she became really horny and was unable to find a man. She went out to find a suitable object to satisfy her desires.

Bill “Pearly” Gates

Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They’re up in heaven, and God’s sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. “Al, what do you believe in?”

Al replied, “well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more Freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we’ll all die.”

No Free Lunch

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

One Million

A man was walking through a forest pondering life. He walked, pondered, walked, and pondered. He felt very close to nature and even close to God.

He felt so close to God that he felt if he spoke God would listen. So he asked, “God, are you listening?”

End of Days

George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates were called in by God to heaven one day.

“I am appalled at the way that humankind have degenerated and the world trashed since the days of Adam,” He thundered. “I have called you here because you represent the most powerful and important people on earth today. Here is the ultimatum: clean up the world in three days and form a better society, or I will destroy the world!”

Keep the Faith

Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorns is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; We logically know that they are invisible because we can’t see them.