The Parking Ticket

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day, Bev my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

Prostitute Granny

Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn’t want her grandma to know. One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel, and Lulu was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway when suddenly, Lulu’s grandma came by and saw her granddaughter.

50th Anniversary Reminiscences

On the evening of their 50th anniversary, a reminiscing wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband and said “Honey, do your remember this?”

He looked up from his newspaper and said, “Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married.”

Quarrel Maturity

Have you ever noticed that retired couples have reached a level of maturity where they never have any of those piddling little quarrels that other people do?

They have one big argument that starts at seven in the morning and goes right through till bedtime.

How Was Your Game?

“How was your game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy.

“Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went,” he answered.

“But you’re 75 years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?”

Choco Nuts

A man was visiting his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.

Coming Honey

Two middle aged women were crying dullness in life. One says to another, “I can’t believe what my life has come to.”

Blow-up Whores

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail.

She’s in a Romantic Mood

An older couple were lying in bed after an evening celebrating there 50th Wedding Anniversary. The husband was falling asleep,but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

Three Old Men

Three old men are in a retirement home. They were a somewhat grumpy bunch, as old men are prone to become, and after several years of living in the retirement home, they had come accustomed to spending the day complaining about everything from the weather to the odd smell of their respective nurses. On this particular day, they begin a graphic complaint session about their excretion processes.